I pray to the Gods that they may grant me a long life, at least until old age will start to diminish the qualities that makes me able to be a man. I don’t wish to be one of those people living in a old-folks home, where nurses have to wipe my ass and feed me oatmeal with a spoon. I guess I have a romantic image of dying peacefully at home surrounded by family and friends, but its more likely I will die alone and suddenly like most people do.
Most people try to avoid thinking about death until its to late. I have always thought about it since I was a kid, that was just one part of my weirdness. But since then this have been reinforced many times. First when political opponents (at least ten of them armed with steelpipes and bottles) tried to beat me to death in 2005. Then after an allergic reaction in 2010 where I stopped breathing long enough to feel my soul descend into darkness (no white lights). Except for these happenings I had many more skirmishes with death. And in 2014 both my mother and my grandfather died that were the people closest to me in my life.
The importance of death and intentions.
All these events have made me develop an even closer relationship with death, and an awareness that it can strike at any second for a billion of different reasons. This have instilled in me an urgency to express in actions and words what I wish to contribute to this world before I pass on to the great unknown. That’s what this post is mainly about and to maybe instill some of that urgency unto those of my brothers, family and friends that have not considered the greater implications of their own mortality.
It is said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I will still contest that our intentions are important, especially when it comes to motives. If I were to be judged right now based on my previous life from the beginning of my young adult life and forward I wouldn’t be very proud to represent more than half of it, partly because I have been misguided (like most of us) even if this is not an excuse. But one thing I can say proudly is that I have always searched for the truth even when it have taken me into very uncomfortable places both political and personal.
My resistance, burnout and comeback.
Already in my teenage years I identified some of the main cultural and spiritual diseases of our time in the Western world and I decided to fight them and their culprits. I did this for more than seven years in politics before I got burned out by pressure from the system by my own failings and being deceived by people I called brothers. I took a timeout and started searching once again for meaning and truth which took me to many strange places and finally to the belly of the beast where i once again discovered the same enemy i saw in my teen years and in its opposite, that is my real identity, context and purpose, which brings me to the main point of this article, that is who i am and what i stand for;
My name is Ernst Robert Almgren which is a Germanic name, it means: Ernst = serious, honest. Robert = The bright, honorable, victorious. Almgren is a local Swedish name. I am a Swedish, Germanic and European man. I worship the old gods and goddesses – the Aseir and the Vanir. I believe in the tribe and traditional families were the natural genders complement each other. I believe in the organic society organized in guilds, with natural hierarchies and casts were everyone in the tribe or community are not the same but where everyone has a place and a worth in opposite to the egalitarian society were everyone is equally worthless.
My main beliefs.
I believe that my purpose in life is first and mostly to fight for my tribe and my people, to be a reliable and worthy brother in arms and in life. I believe its my duty to be a role-model for my children, to give them security and wisdom for becoming good and honest members of the tribe. I believe its my duty to be a strong, courageous and a dependable man for my woman as its her duty to honor me and be a loving and caring mother for our children. I believe in the nine noble virtues as expressed in both variations by the Asatru folk assembly and the Odinic rite.
I also believe that no matter how far me, my peers, family, my tribe or this whole fucking world descend into degeneracy, perversion and nihilism, I will never believe that its to late and I will continue to stand for the higher values that have guided my people for thousands of years before we started to stray from their path into self-loathing, defeatism and hedonism. So to my children, my brothers, my family and friends – I fight for you, our families and the extension of us, not mostly for what are, but for what we were and what we can become!